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The Beauty Product of the Century

Yesterday afternoon I was in Milan for a couple of meetings in the Navigli area. That’s when I spotted it: proudly standing on an orange silk cloth was the box for what could only be described as the beauty product of the century – a “dermo vacuum massager” that promises to enhance three things at once. This prodigious product that is inexplicably unknown to a larger public, is:

  • anti-cellulite
  • anti-wrinkle
  • breast enhancing

And all in one, I must say!

My friend and I were speechless when we spotted it. Intrigued about the mechanics of a product tackling such disparate issues, we looked at the side of the box for explanation.

The manufacturer clarified its functioning in the following way:

  • Combats aging by stimulating and toning the skin.
  • Helps to eliminate muscular fatigue and increases fat burning metabolism.
  • Stretches the skin, thereby reducing wrinkles and stretch marks.
  • Tones, strengthens, and develops breasts.
  • Reduces fat deposits and combats cellulite build-up.

Incredibile… We’d say over here in Italy. For added reassurance: the product was in the window of a tony pharmacy in the Navigli area of Milan. And it sports a Swiss flag on its box. Because, as you know, the Swiss are renowned around the world for their technical skills and precision in manufacturing. I wonder why the TED organizers have not invited to their conference the inventor of this magical product… It’s really short-sighted on their part. Ah, the mysteries of life!